Stop Overthinking: Practical Guidance from Real-Life Experiences
This is not an ordinary message; it serves as guidance derived from personal experience and a blend of various expert opinions. Please take the time to read it when you’re prepared.
Let’s know the situation first
I know you might not be feeling well after thinking about what happened. You’re probably telling yourself not to think about it, but overthinking is a common reaction for all human beings. So, there’s no need to worry about the fact that you’ve been overthinking up until now.
Before we move toward solutions, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s completely okay to overthink in this situation. Yes, she/he was your closest one – possibly your life. I understand your heart is crying, and you’re having many painful or negative thoughts. That’s absolutely normal.
Just like a physical injury or accident causes pain and suffering, emotional betrayal does the same. The pain you’re feeling is valid.
Why you are overthinking ? ***
Don’t think this is just a theory I’m telling you.
It’s really important to understand why you’re stuck in a loop of overthinking.
As I already mentioned — just like we feel pain or cry when we go through a physical injury, the same applies here. You’re feeling emotional pain internally.
Now think about this: for any physical injury, our body reacts immediately and starts the healing process on its own. On top of that, we usually take medicines to speed up the recovery.
In the same way, your mind is also trying to “solve” the emotional pain. But because the pain is not physical, your mind is trying to work it out through thoughts — replaying the situation again and again, in an attempt to find a solution or some form of closure.
But here’s the thing:
The problem is at the mind level.
So let’s ask a question — what is the mind?
Is there such a thing as a “mind” without thoughts?
No — the mind is made of thoughts. So, clearly, the problem is at the level of thought itself, isn’t it?
You’re having a particular thought in your mind — and that thought is just repeating.
But why is it repeating?
In normal life, this doesn’t happen. Before he/she cheated on you, you didn’t have this thought running constantly.
That’s because the mind only focuses on what feels important. And right now, your mind believes this thought is the most important thing — so it keeps returning to it.
Let me give you an example:
If a snake were to bite you right now, or if a close family member suddenly had a medical emergency, would you still be thinking about the person who cheated on you?
No. In that moment, your mind would instantly shift focus — because something more urgent would demand your attention.
So what have we understood so far?
The real issue lies only in thoughts. The overthinking loop exists because your mind has assigned too much importance to one thought.
What is the solution Now?
(But yes, it takes a little time.)
Step 1: Calm Your Mind Before Making Any Decision
Let me share one powerful principle for all future decisions in your life:
“Never make a decision when you’re emotional.”
That means — before you take any major step, first calm your mind. Relax it for a while. Here are some ways you can do that:
- A. Visit a nearby hill station or a beautiful place with friends or someone close to you.
- B. Play a sport for 2–3 days (at least 2 hours per day).
- C. Spend time playing with children or pets like dogs.
After doing any of these, you’ll notice your mind starts feeling lighter and more relaxed. That’s the right time to move to the next step.
Step 2: Find a Solution for the Problem
Now, sit down in a quiet space and set a timer for 1 hour.
This is your thinking hour — to decide how you want to move forward. Ask yourself honestly:
- Whatever happened… how do I want to respond now?
- Can I truly live with him/her after what happened?
- Or is it time to move on and start fresh?
Only you know the real answer. Accept it as part of your journey, and make a decision with clarity — not pain.
Step 3: Introduce Something New Into Your Life
We cannot remove thoughts by force.
But we can replace them — by introducing something new and more meaningful.
Ask yourself:
Aren’t you important to yourself?
Of course, you are. So start investing in you.
Examples:
- If your body isn’t feeling great, start playing cricket, football, or any physical activity.
- If you’re facing financial issues, explore a new job, course, or business idea.
Introduce change step by step. Take small steps.
Set a goal for yourself and commit to it for at least 21 days.
Set an alarm with motivational or funny music every morning as a reminder.
Step 4: Your Daily Affirmation Practice
Do this twice every day — in the morning and before you sleep.
A. Morning Affirmation (say it out loud with eyes closed):
“I am alive. I can achieve anything.
I am happy to have this life.
Thank you God / Nature / Universe / Allah / Jesus for this day.
The universe needs me.
Today is mine.”
B. Night Affirmation (say it out loud with eyes closed):
“Today was a good day.
I lived with peace and happiness.
Everybody loves me.
God / Nature / the Universe is with me.
Tomorrow is my day — but now, I am going to sleep peacefully.”
No matter what — you must do these affirmations every day.
Even if they feel strange in the beginning, with time, they will shift your energy and thoughts.
Great